Here’s the problem with being happy.
What? What is wrong with you? There are no problems associated with happiness. Don’t you understand? Stop shoving your glass-half-empty attitude in our faces.
I know. Leave it up to me to find a problem with that magical little nugget of bliss we all spend 99% of our time searching for. But please, let’s be real – you wouldn’t read this if I were always vomiting up unicorns, would you?
The problem with being happy is just that – it’s a bitch on my writing. Why haven’t I blogged lately? Because I have nothing to bitch about as of late. With the exception of monsoon season in the midwest and the regular drunken antics of people I’d much prefer to punch in the face than write about, I’ve been at a loss for words. It’s obnoxious, I know.
This got me to thinking – am I really that cynical? Do I only produce good material when I’m bitching about some sort of social faux pas that makes us all crazy or the ineptitude of midwestern drivers, stigmas and grammar fails? How disappointing. If that’s the case, then I’m going to have to pick one – witty blogs or happiness.
It is painfully obvious that no one would tolerate me writing about happy things. Discussing the beauty of child birth or the aesthetics of the midwest during springtime doesn’t seem like my piece of pie. In fact, I had a difficult time even typing “beauty of child birth” without throwing up in my mouth a little bit. Switching my frame of mind from the rebellious 20-something bitchy female to someone who is mildly content with her life is a cyclical argument that forms a nice little hamster wheel in my head where my three-legged hamster runs for its poor little three-legged life waiting for me to figure it all out.
As emo and sad panda as this sounds, actually being “happy” forces me to lose a large part of the sarcastic cynicism that I love about myself. Can you be both?
I have to find a way to keep the bitter cynicism alive in my writing. I have to. It’s what makes me love it so much.
Oh, and PS – the hour of bliss I discussed in my last entry about the time change? It’s here. And it’s beautiful. What are you doing to enjoy it?