After looking back at this past year, it’s safe to say that the saying holds true – life really is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. 2010 has seriously taken me on a whirlwind, throwing me face to face with both places and faces that have made their footprints on my life – some for better, some for worse. Was 2010 a good year? There are parts of it that were sheer brilliance, moments I’ll never forget, milestones I never thought I’d reach. But to say that it was overall a “good” year would probably be a bit over the top. This year has, without question, been one of the most difficult years for me – personally, professionally, financially, etc. I’m not going to look back at it blindly and remember only the times filled with rainbows and unicorns. To not recognize the failures of this past year – the trials and tribulations that have gotten me to today – would be a failure of character, a failure to embrace your flaws and learn from them.
In a nutshell, here’s what I’ve learned about myself, other people, and my life this year. Incase you were interested.
Don’t surround yourself with people who don’t make you the best you that you can be. That was a lot of “you,” wasn’t it? Meh. But really – why would you want to surround yourself with people who bring you down? Don’t support your goals, your ideas, your character? That’s right, you wouldn’t. So don’t. I don’t care how many nights you spend sitting at home alone. Don’t do it.
I will never be okay with people who don’t respect their friendship with you. For me, a big part of this means not totally bailing on me by going completely MIA at the last minute. If you don’t want to meet up, hang out, or do whatever you were supposed to do – then just tell me. One of my goals for 2011 is to cut out the people in my life who do this. Because as a friend, you deserve better than someone who has no qualms about leaving you hanging.
Treat yourself right. You have one life, one body, one family and, in the scheme of things, very few people in the world who truly care about your well being. Why would you want to waste any of that? Eat right. Exercise. Love hard. Spend time with people you like. Get enough sleep. Drink wine. Be you, and be that well.
In contrast to the above, do not waste time doing things just to please people. No, I don’t mean that you shouldn’t help others, be a good citizen and sometimes do things that you don’t want to do because you know how happy it will make someone else. What I mean is don’t waste time trying to please the world. It’s not going to happen.
If you’re still young, don’t stroke out yet. I hate change. I avoid it like the plague, and most of my friends can vouch for that. I go to the same bars, drink the same drinks, run the same paths, and listen to the same music. But if looking back to how I felt about people and life at the beginning of this year and comparing it to present day is any indication of how well I deal with change, then I think I’m going to be okay. Things change, so do people. One of my favorite quotes says not to hold on to the way things were – and it’s so true. Letting go sucks. In fact, it totally blows. But in order for you to survive and be happy, it’s often really fucking necessary.
Understand that not all of the people and things you thought were good for you at one point in time will necessarily be good for you now. You can’t make people feel things or act in ways that they don’t want for themselves. Trying to manipulate people’s hearts and minds will land you without that respective person in your life. Even worse is changing yourself in hope that it will make some kind of difference. News flash: It doesn’t.
Have fun. Did I have too much fun this year? Yeah, probably. But would I do it again? Yeah, probably. My only regret is not maintaining the least bit of moderation in my life. You can have it all, but you have to have it all the right way.
I hate new year’s resolutions. I think they’re stupid, and I’ve blogged about it before. Realistically, my only hope for 2011 is to learn from 2010. To take my mistakes and failures and turn them into successes, so that I might actually be able to say they were never failures and mistakes in the first place, but rather stepping stones towards reality.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope that 2011 is better than 2010. I’ve fallen flat on my face a lot this past year, and I keep getting back up. And even though I keep falling, I can’t help but feel like each fall is just a bit closer to standing back up for good.