It goes without saying that we’re our own worst critics. **Side note: Why do we say, “It goes without saying…” ..? It’s essentially counterproductive. Oh well.** Anyway. It’s true. The only person who judges us more than those around us is ourselves. As of late, I’ve become entirely too aware of this fact. I’m acutely aware of my flaws, and have countless mental lists of things I could be better at, things I’m just now learning, and things I wish I never knew about myself. I should also note that as much as I’d like to be able to organize my thoughts, I’m really shitty at compartmentalizing all the bullshit that goes in my head. So, I’m now posting newfound theories, ideas and facts about myself that I’m clearly incapable of sorting in my head. Words don’t usually fail me (hence the massive paragraph, when a sentence will suffice), so hopefully this is no exception.
* I have a really short attention span when it comes to my social circle. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family. I just can only take so much of each. For instance – family vacations. I’m ready to peace out after about 4 days. I need a change of social scenery, big time.
* I’m lacking for writing content hardcore lately. Hence the reason I’m essentially writing total bullshit right now. Nothing here is substantial. How do you uncover something of substance worth writing about? Someone please tell me.
* I’ve gotten quieter. No, seriously. I promise. I’m not sure if it’s that I’m growing up, or that I just don’t have anything to say. Either way, I’m finding myself without words on more occasions than ever before. This is totally throwing me off my witty game, for real.
* I hate becoming a “fan” of pointless shit on Facebook. Hate it.
* I get twitchy when people don’t text me back. I know you got my text, bitch. Just respond. A lack of response to a question in a text message may mean “no” to you, but to me, it means you’re a rude person who thinks you’re above responding to me.
* I’m 23, and I still haven’t learned the value of sunscreen.
* I rarely give people a chance. Not because I don’t think they’re deserving, but more so because giving them a chance would require lowering my wall for 2.5 seconds and risk you not living up to expectations. It’s much easier to shut you out automatically. I’m working on it, though.
* I love running. Who knew?
* I want to get married. I know, I know. Who doesn’t, right? Well, I didn’t used to. I don’t know what changed. I’m still as single as Sasha Fierce, and I’m totally okay with it (or so I tell myself), but I’ve realized I don’t want to be this way forever.
* I waste a lot of money, but the following have been the best investments I’ve ever made: my heart rate monitor, good gym shoes, an ipod, my MacBook, birth control pills, my Calvin Klein heels, and comfortable sweatpants.
* I really want to stop being one of those people who can’t live without their phone. I check it constantly. Constantly. Even though it doesn’t ring or vibrate. Nothing in my life is that urgent that it couldn’t wait 10 minutes, or hell, even an hour. I don’t know when I got this way.
* I can count on one hand the number of people I can have real, honest and kickass conversations with. This number has definitely dwindled, but the quality of conversation has only bettered.
* I live in some strange sub-reality that I seem to believe is actually real life. In this cute little world, goodbyes don’t exist, time stands still and all people operate on the belief that doing the right thing will result in good karma. Liars, flakes, cheaters and drama queens are all replaced with people who, in general, believe that music, honesty, good intentions, following through, laughter and happy hours are enough to make it through the world.
* Beyonce is, without question, my idol. Say what you want. Bitch be fierce.
* I’m learning this new thing called “moderation.” Having always been a person of extremes, it’s a new concept I’m a little reluctant to introduce to my life. We’ll see how it fits in with the staple principles I already have set up in my life.
* My life will drastically change in 2010, whether I want it to or not. This is actually quite petrifying. However, after careful consideration and multiple “life” conversations with good people, I’m learning that the only thing scary about change is thinking I don’t have control over my life. And I do. So it looks like 2010 will be changing for the good.
Ok. That’s all. Enough life lessons for a Wednesday, eh?
you can turn off the sun, but I’m still gonna shine.