I’ve noticed that as of late, I tend to think of my life in bullet lists of facts and experiences. I’m not sure where that puts me on the scale of one to ten of obsessiveness, but it really helps me evaluate different aspects of my life. The way something sounds when it’s said, or the way it looks when written, can seriously help me evaluate how ridiculous, successful, passionate, boring or hopeful my life is. And I mean really, let’s face it, this is all another reason why I’m entirely too obsessed with words, and why I shouldn’t be “settling” for an office job instead of writing witty blogs and getting paid, right? Ha, right. So, as of July 18 at 10:48 a.m., here’s what I’m thinking:
* When I have a clean apartment, I have a much cleaner mind. I can judge the quality of my life by what’s being thrown on the ground in my room, living room, kitchen, etc. When it gets to be too much, I lose track of my life. Right now, I know that work, new sundresses and pizza/movie night were all part of the past 24 hours.
* Few things make me feel more emotion than music. The best moments in my life are the 15 minute commutes to and from work each day. At the current volume of my music, I will lose my hearing by age 30, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Here’s the stuff I can’t turn off:
[Disclaimer: I make no guarantee that this makes for a good playlist as a whole…they’re all just individually rockin’]
Faster – Third Eye Blind
Nicest Thing – Kate Nash
In This City – Iglu & Hartly
This Town – O.A.R.
Summer Nights – Rascal Flatts
Manhattan – Kings of Leon
* I hate doing laundry. Does that ever change?
* I have this yearning for something to take care of. My fish died a few weeks ago, and I think I subconsciously worshipped that fish because it allowed me to take care of something without spending the money on a dog…and let’s face it, that’s what I really want. I’m financially reevaluating, and hoping for the best.
* I really do believe I am a hypochondriac. Do hypochondriacs know they have a problem? Who knows. But I’ve done my research, and people have been telling me I’m a whack job for months. I really don’t even know how I function. I can’t touch another human being without running through a mental list of all the things I know they’ve had, or that they could have because…you know, the corner of his eye looks really red, and that bump on her face is probably an STD, and there’s this bump in my stomach that is hard and is most likely a hernia because what the hell else could it be? I’m waiting for the symptom checker on WebMD to just come back with “Seek professional help.”
* I’m getting my hair cut today, and I’m scared.
* I tend to fall for guys who like Nickelback… and this is a huge problem. Does this mean I have a “type” of guy? I never thought I did, and I sure as hell didn’t think that if I did have a type, he’d have shitty taste in music. I need help.
* I pray sometimes. I don’t know what this means, and I mostly pray for other people. Is it selfish to pray for yourself? Because sometimes I feel like I really do need saving.
* I truly do have a love hate relationship with myself.
* Harry Potter makes me incredibly happy.
I think that’s all for now. I’d like to update this more regularly. It’s a good outlet, though I think very few people read it. I’m okay with that though.